Sunday, July 20, 2008

"Its Not Always Rainbows and Butterflies" -Maroon 5

I have been in a really positive mood today, I have accomplished a lot today! I went grocery shopping, and I did two loads of laundry, and I am in the process of cleaning/organizing my apartment. I have done a lot of things that I have needed to do. I was looking at the books that are with me in Korea and they are definitely a wide assortment-- but one that made the trek with me is a devotion book called Hindsight I will be honest i don't really remember where it came from it was just hanging out on my bookshelf but it seemed like it would be an appropriate book to bring with me on this new venture. I am horrible with doing devotions, even though I desire to be better at it. But I was flipping through it looking at it, and this verse spoke to me:

Be made new in the attitude of your minds;
and put on the new self, created to be like God
in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:23-24
The reason that it spoke to me was the fact that the last week or so I have been in a bad frame of mind I have been frusturated, irritable, doubtful and been struggling with my identity. I know all the basics like my name, and my age and what my college degree is-- but with my identity in terms of who I am within this big scary world. I have been in such a huge funk and have just had a bad attitude and didn't feel like I had anything positive to contribute and so I decided that I would just not say anything.
I realize that I still have a contract that I need to fufill but if the rest of the year goes as fast as it has these last two months I am going to all of the sudden be facing this dilemma about how I am going to get everything home :-) So I feel like what I want to do is something that I have to start thinking about. Its actually something that I have been kind of obsessing about lately-- THANKS SO MUCH AMANDA AND SCOTT!!! I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR KIND EARS AND SUGGESTIONS! MISS YOU!!!!!! Amanda and Scott have been really great about empathetically listening to me, even with me sometimes being kind of whiny, and providing suggestions of how to figure out what I want to do. I think I have it narrowed down to a few things. Now comes research, and figuring out what I really want to do, i.e. more narrowing down. Though I am going to still do my student teaching Fall 2009 at SCSU and get my teaching license even though I am not convinced I want to teach in the school system.
But all of this is connected in my head as to how it relates to the verse in Ephesians... attitudes are everything and as my mum tells me "attitudes are contagious" so even though I really don't know how I fit into this world exactly and I am pretty sure that I had hit a rough transitional period with a little bit of culture shock all mixed together I need to stay positive and enjoy my time here in S.K. and get to know more about "my new adult self" and more about South Korea, my current home country. I think that during my week off I am going to travel through S.K and see some of the sights and learn more about this beautiful country.
Thanks for all of the support and the prayers you guys! Love to all!!!!

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